stories of the beans, the boys and the broad
stories of the beans, the boys and the broad
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
“‘Round the Block” offends, er, I mean, offers their perspective to a preacher
“‘Round the Block” is straight talk from two women who have been there and done that. Bloggers Megan of Soy Boy Mama and Holly of Bringing Home the Bacon have survived growing up in the '80s, college, graduate school, married life, motherhood and the corporate jungle. They want you to know the perfect way to sample an array of diseases, maladies and general discomfort is to get pregnant -- and then be miraculously cured in nine months.
(If you haven’t already, we recommend you read our previous column to understand references in this week’s column. Ugh? Pre-reqs? Yep.)
Holly: Megan, I tried to warn you, the preacher actually IS Dutch. And, Megan, his sister lived in the Red Light District. Presbyterian preachers don't send you to hell, they put you on a committee--so watch out! Well, the preacher has already given his sermon--so it's like I know the answers to the test! But I thought the least we could do was take a stab at his question here, after insulting his heritage and all. Here's the question: Is it always better to look forward ... to never look back?
Megan: I thought you were joking when you said he wouldn't be offended by the Jesus-and-prostitutes comment, but that he was Dutch. Seriously, the odds of him being Dutch are about the same as the odds of him being from Vermont. Anyone know any local preachers from Vermont? No? My point exactly. But let's not dwell on the past, let us look forward to his question.
My Grandma was a gatherer of sayings. She would put them in greeting cards, jot them in notes, even write them on card stock and use them to decorate cakes. After she passed away, we found numerous books of quotations and verses and pages written in her hand of thoughts and observations she found meaningful. Of course I've forgotten them over time, but I always kept one of the framed sayings she gave me years and years ago. It states: Cherish yesterday, live today, dream tomorrow.
Your yesterdays are you. They are constructed with the joys and sorrows, the good decisions and the bad, the people you brought into your world and the people you cast aside. You don't have to love them. You don't have to hate them. Hell, you don't even have to learn from them. But, I like the idea of cherishing them. "Cherish" has a maternal feel to it -- like an unconditional love for a child. And really, when we look back, that's how our selves of today view our selves of yesterday. How many times have you said, "If I only knew then what I know now."
So, yes, look back and cherish those times because it's the same as cherishing yourself. But, just as we shouldn't stay a child forever, we shouldn't dwell in the past. We should dream about tomorrow. Don't plan. Dream. How does the saying go, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans." (See how I brought that full circle back to the religion thing? Do you think that will please the preacher and get me off the committee-prospect list? Although I do love me a good ol' Mother's Day Luncheon and Fashion Show committee. mmm ... fizzy Presbyterian luncheon punch. They use real sherbet, you know, and they aren't stingy with it either. It's like the church ladies thought the miracle of the fish and loaves was really the miracle of the fish, loaves and sherbet.)
Holly: Awww, your answer was sweet--sweet as grannies and punch. However, this question evoked something a little darker in me. The question of looking forward and never looking back speaks to me, reminding me of some dark times in my life that I find myself rehashing over and over. Recently I went through some boxes and found some old papers from that dark time. Why did I save this stuff? WHY did I sit there and read it all again? I tried to purge the bad memories by taking the papers outside and burning them in the driveway (one of the many advantages of farm life: burning things on a moments notice). Ultimately, though, the fact that I burned the papers and then stabbed the ashes with a pitchfork (it was a really dark time) didn't actually make me feel better. I had kept those papers because on some level I really wasn't ready to let go of those memories.
So to answer the preacher's question, Is it always better to look forward ... to never look back? I'd have to say that it is often better to look forward but I don't think it's in our nature to never look back--on the good and the bad.
Megan: I've never been accused of being sweet; although, I did find it kind of difficult to type my response, what with all the unicorns and leprechauns frolicking on my keyboard.
If you'll permit me to make this observation -- here, lie down on this couch, please, and tell me about your love for your mother -- the fact you gave such ceremony to those papers says you shouldn't have expected to feel better after disposing of them. It's when you can toss them aside without missing a beat -- or getting that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, or feeling that warmth creep into your cheeks -- that you'll know you've come to see that time for what it was and move on.
Interested in lying on the couch and telling us about your mother? We're looking for topics to discuss, questions to answer or points of view to thumb our noses at. Use the comments section below to submit your ideas and/or questions anonymously or with your name and a link to your own blog.